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View Article  Naming your Baby

If your due date is rapidly approaching but you still haven't whittled down a shortlist of baby names yet then don't panic, we're here to help. Check out our general hints and tips for baby naming to start you off on the right track.

No matter what kind of name you're looking to give your baby, you'll probably want to know whether any of your shortlist names appear among the country's most popular 100 names of the last couple of years in order to be aware of recent trends. So take a look at the top of the pops list for girls and for boys for the years 2006 and 2007.

If you think that you've already got your baby's name completely sorted, perhaps because it's a name you've always loved, or one that you want to use for family reasons, then it can still help to read our baby-naming guide to be sure you've thought about how your baby's name will work in day-to-day life. And don't forget that you may have your heart set on an Eloise Jane only to find that your newborn simply doesn't suit the name, or is even in fact that 'she' turns out instead to be a Luke or a Robert!

Make use of the forum
Baby names are a perennial
hot topic on the TB forum, which is a good place to seek out inspiration, ask advice or test out your shortlist for unfortunate nicknames you may not have thought of.

And when you've found your perfect baby names then don't forget that your parents may like to have special names now they are grandparents - take a look at the forum for ideas on naming the grandparents.

p. Check out our general hints and tips for baby naming to start you off on the right track.

No matter what kind of name you're looking to give your baby, you'll probably want to know whether any of your shortlist names appear among the country's most popular 100 names of the last couple of years in order to be aware of recent trends. So take a look at the top of the pops list for girls and for boys for the years 2006 and 2007.

If you think that you've already got your baby's name completely sorted, perhaps because it's a name you've always loved, or one that you want to use for family reasons, then it can still help to read our baby-naming guide to be sure you've thought about how your baby's name will work in day-to-day life. And don't forget that you may have your heart set on an Eloise Jane only to find that your newborn simply doesn't suit the name, or is even in fact that 'she' turns out instead to be a Luke or a Robert!

View Article  A partner's guide to being pregnant

We all know it takes two to get pregnant and it's something of an advantage to be a couple sharing pregnancy. If you're committed to supporting your partner as she grows your child then here's the Idiot's Guide to what you should know about her pregnancy, tongue (placed loosely) in cheek of course...

 

It's been a hard day's night
It might be no bigger than a pea, but this princess is not exaggerating the exhaustion your child is causing in these early weeks. It's no mean feat to go from a single cell to miniature wriggling human in 10 short weeks and if all I want to do besides work is sleep then yes, it is your turn to do the cleaning again. If you want the neighbour's number for her 'help', it's on the fridge. By the way, you'll notice that it's 'your child' and you better get used to that, because from here on in whenever it's causing trouble it'll be 'your child', it's mine when it's adorable and loving. Obviously.

Hey, good lookin'
Did you know that more women get morning sickness than don't? Strangely enough in the early weeks I may be capable of dashing off to retch in the loo at the merest whiff of cooking and then be able to tuck in only minutes later. I might be sick all day, not be able to so much as look at some foods, just have mild nausea or be totally erratic with my sickness.

Whichever it is, cooking can be less than appealing for me at the moment so you might need to step up to the stove more often than you'd like. And whether it's early pregnancy nausea or post-birth recovery that's keeping me away from kitchen action we still need a balanced diet, so it'd be helpful if you could branch out from your one set-menu you like to dish up when it's your turn to cook, particularly when this is beans on toast (you know who you are).

NB: Excessive consumption of take-out may bankrupt us and anyway, I've gone off pizza, so think again.

Cry me a river
I know it's just the ten o'clock news, but there are babies starving in Somalia, children armed with guns in the Congo and earlier on Lassie got injured while trying to rescue kidnapped twins. Sometimes I don't even need a reason to cry and you wouldn't either if you had this amount of hormonal havoc running through your veins. And before you mock, I saw your eyes redden when Arnie melted himself at the end of Terminator 2, it's emotional becoming a dad too.

I'm so dizzy
No really, my head is spinning. You ought to know from the start that when I forget where I parked the car, when I leave that important presentation in my other bag and when your mobile's gone through the washer, it's not me, it's the pregnancy. It's a scientific fact that women's brains shrink during pregnancy and we cannot be held responsible for temporary lapses of memory, reason or multi-tasking malfunctions. I know. I read it on the BBC. Besides, if you did your own washing it would never have happened.

If you think I'm sexy
In the early months you might find these new curves of mine tantalisingly sexy and be longing to get your mitts on those two newly luscious lovelies up front. But they're gearing up for a new job now and can bloody hurt, so ask first and do me a favour: save tuning the radio dial for the radio. Thank you.

I'm in the middle of a chain reaction
You might not want to know about every single gag reflex, every ache, every worrying twinge and number of middle-of-the-night trips to the loo but there's some weird stuff happening to me right now and I have to tell somebody. Frankly you're the only person who has no choice but to put up with me. Besides which, as you lie there night after night sleeping like the oddly proverbial baby, or sit sipping your chablis of an evening, some of us are busy making our baby and it's only fair that we should get you involved whatever way we can. Just be glad that I've now found a new audience on ThinkBaby and you only have to hear the half of it.

And finally....

You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Apparently for some women pregnancy is the time of orgasms, multiple orgasms and sexual emotional intensity, largely thanks to increased blood flow to the clitoris - making it more sensitive. And helping you find it in the first place. But if our own sex life is more shattered than earth-shattering you'll just have to bear with me for a while. It's not that I'm not interested in making love to you, I'm just not interested in making love to you. It's not you, it's me, blah, blah.

This is my pregnant prerogative. You however, should still find me incredibly irresistible even when I begin to resemble a python that's swallowed an elephant, and I can no longer trim my toenails - or anything else down there. If you don't, then come up with a decent excuse that doesn't involve my pregnant body.

View Article  Sex during Pregnancy

What's safe
Once a couple realise they are pregnant it's perfectly natural for them to worry about the safety of sex and the impact on the baby of intercourse and orgasm, you might even worry that the baby could be poked or disturbed by the penis. The good news is that there's no evidence at all that sex is unsafe in a healthy pregnancy, and no physical reason why you shouldn't continue to enjoy an active sex life together. Your baby is safely sealed in a protective bag of waters that provide support and prevent infection, then sealed in the safety of the strong womb via the mucus plug at the narrow cervix: It's physically impossible for the penis to disturb the baby and even near the end of pregnancy your baby will have no idea what is happening. If your baby is very active after sex it's because of your increased heart rate, not because he's upset or uncomfortable.

There are, however, some special circumstances that may lead your doctor to suggest that you avoid sex as a precautionary measure, including if you have a history of miscarriage or premature labour, and placenta praevia.

Obviously any sexual practices that aren't safe in normal circumstances are no safer in pregnancy.

What's comfortable
In early pregnancy you probably won't notice any difference in which sexual positions are comfortable and which aren't. But as your bump gets bigger it will make some positions, such as the missionary position, uncomfortable or simply impractical, and you'll need to experiment a bit to find out what works for you both. Here are some ideas worth trying:

  • Woman-on-top - This can be a good position for several reasons. Your bump isn't in the way and will have a degree of support from your partner, meaning that you don't have to take all the weight. You will be able to control the degree of penetration and the speed of movement so it's most comfortable and pleasurable for you - many women find it easier to reach orgasm in this position. What's more, the position allows for plenty of eye contact and your partner will probably appreciate the view.
  • Spooning - If you lie on your side with your partner lying next to you, facing your back and entering from behind, your bump will be both supported (you can use pillows to support your bump if need be) and out of the way. The position isn't good for maintaining eye contact, but is good for allowing manual stimulation along with intercourse. Despite the lack of eye contact the position is very intimate and well-suited to loving, gentle sex.
  • Perching on the bed - If you prefer a man-on-top position then try using the bed or something similar as a support. If you lie on your back with your bottom at the base or edge of the mattress your bump won't get in the way. Your partner will able to stand or kneel to enter you - it might help to prop yourself up with a cushion or two under your lower back for height. If you find it uncomfortable to lie on your back as your bump gets heavier then this position won't be for you.
  • Sitting - This will also take the weight off your bump and allow you to control penetration. You can sit on your partner on the edge of the bed or on a comfortable chair, just make sure it's sturdy!

What's different about sex in pregnancy?
Besides accommodating the obvious bump, pregnancy involves other physical changes which can affect how sex feels for you. During pregnancy you have more blood flowing around your body and consequently more blood in your pelvic area. This increased blood can engorge your genitals, making them more sensitive and responsive. For many women this is a source of increased sexual pleasure during pregnancy, heightening the sensations of stimulation, and some women experience orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time when pregnant. If you usually only reach orgasm through manual stimulation you may find that this changes during pregnancy. However, the same engorgement that usually increases pleasure can also give an uncomfortable sensation of fullness after sex or orgasm.

It's quite common to experience abdominal cramps during or after intercourse because orgasm releases the hormone oxytocin which stimulates contractions. This may be slightly uncomfortable, but you needn't worry that sex will stimulate labour, as your womb practices contracting throughout pregnancy and this is perfectly usual. In a normal pregnancy sex will only bring on labour contractions if labour is imminent anyway.

Changes to your breasts during pregnancy are likely to leave them more sensitive and they may at times be tender or sore. If fondling your breasts is a favoured part of foreplay for your partner then you may need to suggest that he is more gentle or avoids the area completely.

There are also non-physical changes during pregnancy that may affect how sex feels. The emotional intensity of sex may be deepened by the realisation that you are going to have a baby together, and become a family, making sex a richer and more rewarding experience. What's more, some couples may find it very liberating to make love free from the pressure to conceive or not to conceive. On the other hand, adjusting to the impending reality and responsibilities of parenthood may also throw water on your sexual fire for a while.

Will my sex drive change, and if so, how should we handle it?
The flood of pregnancy hormones, morning sickness, tiredness, emotionally adjusting to a new reality and your physically changing self can all have a strong impact on your libido. It's quite common for women to go off sex during the first trimester, as their bodies and brains adjust to being pregnant. The second trimester is often a time when women feel at their best and most energetic during pregnancy, and many experience a resurgence of interest in sex and may find it particularly pleasurable. In the third trimester, as the bump becomes more unwieldy and tiredness usually returns, it's common for interest in sex to slump. That said, every woman and pregnancy is different, and you may find you have a very different pattern of changing libido or go off sex for the entire pregnancy.

And it's not just women's sex drive that pregnancy can affect, your partner may also experience changing levels of sexual desire and even go off sex altogether. Your partner is also coping with adjusting to the new reality of becoming a father, and all the emotions that entails: He may be given a positive boost by the proof of his virility or he may struggle to come to terms with his new responsibilities.

He may also be affected by the physical changes to your body" While some men find pregnant women's more womanly shape very sexy, others may find the pregnant shape a complete turn off, or be too worried about possible effects on the baby to be comfortable with sex.

However your sexual desires fluctuate as a couple, the chances are there'll be times when you're not in synch with each other. The best way to navigate through potential problems is to make sure that you communicate as openly and honestly as possible, though it's wise to avoid hurting each other's feelings with unnecessary bluntness - now is probably not a good time to tell your pregnant partner that you find her fat, puffy and unattractive! (No time is good for that, just in case you were wondering).

If one or other of you is off sex then it's important that you use other ways of preserving the intimacy between you. It might be going out or staying in for a romantic dinner, taking a soak together in the bath, giving each other a massage or simply demonstrating affection through eye contact, cuddles and conversation: The key to maintaining a happy and rewarding love life through pregnancy is to take time for one another and be attuned to each other's needs.

View Article  Folic acid - the why and where

If you only take one pregnancy supplement then make it folic acid. This vitamin is highly important to the healthy development of a fetus, particularly the developing brain and spine, as it reduces the risk of defects to the brain and spinal cord known as neural tube defects, such as spina bifida. Folic acid is also needed to help the early growth and development of the placenta and helps in the production of the extra blood cells women need when they're pregnant.

Doctors recommend that if you are thinking about having a baby you should start taking a folic acid (vitamin B9) supplement of 400mcg per day - preferably for three months before you try to conceive. But if you're pregnant and you haven't been taking folic acid then don't worry, the most important thing is that you start right away.

Where you find folic acid
To be absolutely sure you're getting at least the recommended amount of folic acid every day it's best to take a supplement. You'll find folic acid supplements in chemists and health food shops, either on its own or combined with other supplements for pregnancy. When you're buying a supplement check that it contains the recommended dose of 400mcg per day.

If you're a cereal eater then you can also look out for cereal fortified with 100% of the daily recommended intake of folic acid (but make sure you then eat the right portion of cereal!)

Folic acid is also naturally found in fruits and citrus juices, leafy green vegetables like Kale and brocolli, beans, nuts, whole-grain breads and whole-grain cereals. Remember that the fresher the source, the better, and that the more you cook food, the fewer nutrients end up on your plate.

View Article  What to Expect When Delivering in Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter

The nursery is furnished, the diapers stockpiled and the wait for the big day is on. So much time is spent preparing for the delivery and organizing the nursery for the new baby that parents tend to forget things like the weather and how it can affect not only the comfort of your infant once she arrives home, but also that time between – getting from hospital to home.

Whenever traveling with a newborn, it pays to be prepared for anything. In some areas, weather is unpredictable at various times of the year. By thinking ahead you can keep your new baby safe and comfortable on both his first trip out into the world and once you arrive home.

Spring

"When you bring a baby home in the spring there are fewer things to worry about than in other seasons, as the weather has less impact," says Barbara Dehn, a women's health nurse practitioner from Los Altos, Calif. "[However,] the weather can have some unexpected highs/lows and showers. That's why diaper bags need so many compartments for that extra hat, socks and a blanket to cover the baby with."

The last thing new parents need is to be caught unprepared. Taking home a baby who is too hot or, even worse, too cold, can be an unhappy experience for all.

"I delivered my first (and only) in mid-May," says April O'Herron of Brecksville, Ohio. "When I was admitted, it was warm. When I came out, I was totally unprepared. The weather was cold. [My baby] was screaming [and] we hadn't practiced the car seat latch, which was difficult to engage, and I could barely get my too-lightweight jacket on."

To be better prepared, Jennifer Walker, a registered nurse and co-author of The Moms on Call Guide to Basic Baby Care

(Revell Publishing, 2007) suggests bringing two outfits for your infant. "Include a short-sleeved cotton onesie and long-sleeved cotton onesie with footies and a swaddling blanket and a hat," she says. She also recommends bringing along an umbrella for spring showers.

Summer

In the summer, the sun and its heat are the most concerning and can even be dangerous to newborns.

"Make sure the car seat is equipped with a canopy for sun protection," Walker says. "Baby skin cannot be exposed to the direct sunlight for more than 10 minutes." A sunshade is also helpful in the car, as well as functioning air-conditioning.

"My middle child was born in August, on the day after the temperature dropped from over 100 [degrees Fahrenheit] ... to about 80," says Kathy Teel of Mount Vernon, Mo. "We brought a cool little tiny baby dress to dress our baby in when we took her home, because our car didn't have air-conditioning." Thankfully for the Teels, the weather broke just before their daughter was born, but they were prepared for anything. "We had blankets, but we ended up just strapping her into her little seat with no blankets."

There are other car considerations for summertime, according to childbirth educators from Women & Infants' Hospital of Rhode Island Elizabeth Rosa and Maureen Brown Ginsberg, both registered nurses. "Check fluids in the car to avoid overheating," they say. "If using public transportation have bug netting to cover the stroller." They also recommend carrying water bottles in the car.

Upon arriving home, keeping the baby from becoming overheated is important. "In the summer, we want to be sure to have lots of ways of keeping cool, whether it's a nice cool bath, a fan or air-conditioning," says Dehn, author of Your Personal Guide to Pregnancy (Blue Orchid Press, 2004).

To keep her July baby comfortable, Jessica Rosenberg of Santa Clara, Calif., purchased a room air-conditioning unit. "I [also] researched lightweight swaddling bands, finally purchasing some nice Australian ones," she says.

Dehn does caution against having cold air from an air-conditioner blowing directly on your baby to keep her from becoming chilled.

Fall

Fall weather may be the most unpredictable of all.

"When you bring a baby home in the fall: layers, layers, layers," Dehn says. "Here's a good rule of thumb: Your baby needs one extra layer of clothing more than what you are comfortable in. So if you're wearing a shirt and sweater, your baby needs a T-shirt, another layer and a sweater."

Dehn also believes hats to be essential in the fall and winter. "We lose so much body heat from our heads that a hat keeps Baby nice and snuggly warm," she says.

Winter

In many parts of the country, winter is a dangerous time for traveling. Roads may be icy (or even impassable if your region is subject to heavy snow). Storms may be unpredictable. Thinking ahead can prepare you for just about anything.

"Make sure that the car has antifreeze in it and that you have snow chains," Walker says. An emergency kit in the car, as well as extras of things like food and water, are great ideas at any time, but especially important when charged with getting your new baby home safely.


"Be prepared for winter weather – carry a shovel and extra windshield wiper fluid in the car," Rosa and Ginsberg say. "Check tires for condition and proper inflation [and] keep extra blankets in the car." They also recommend things like a full tank of gas, making sure the car is in good running order and having a fully-charged cell phone, no matter what the season.

Teel prepared for her winter-born daughter by making some serious emergency travel arrangements. "My daughter was born in the middle of an ice storm, and the sheriff's office was making arrangements to have me life-flighted if I went into labor," she says. Though the helicopter ride proved unnecessary, having the plan in place was a smart move.

Once you arrive home in the winter months, your infant may need a few extras to stay comfortable. Keeping the nursery warm is important. "A space heater at home that is not near anything flammable [can be used] if needed," Walker says. She also recommends a cool mist humidifier for Baby's room if the heat is on.

As O'Herron learned, weather isn't the only thing that can trip you up. A tricky car seat can make things difficult in any season or weather condition.

Walker has the solution. "At any time of year, have the car seat installed properly and practice with a stuffed animal so you are familiar with the straps and how they latch," she says.

No matter what the season, preparation is key for a safe and comfortable trip home with your new baby.