Your baby's growth and development in the womb is a remarkable experience. At the beginning of your second month of pregnancy, your little one's eyes, nose and ears are clearly visible via ultrasound, and by the fifth month, your baby's hearing has fully developed. His newfound ability to recognize you and other familiar voices in the environment around him is quickly established.

Prenatal stimulation through music heard regularly while in the womb might provide some babies with a sense of confidence and relaxation after they're born. You and your baby also will quickly discover an excellent way to bond and share in the emotional and potential intellectual development benefits this method may bring.

The ABCs of Prenatal Music Stimulation

Prenatal stimulation is a method that uses stimuli such as sounds (mother's voice and musical ones), movement, pressure, vibrations and light to communicate with a developing baby prior to birth. While in the womb, Baby learns to recognize and respond to different stimuli, which leads to encouragement of physical, mental and sensory development. Stimulation exercises will allow Baby to communicate with you and your spouse/partner through her movement in the womb, establish a relationship between specific stimuli (such as your voices) and, most importantly, help develop her memory.

 

Making the Right Music Choices for Baby

Does your baby move rhythmically with the strains of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, or do you find she kicks up a storm whenever a song by Madonna comes on the car radio? With the right mix of sounds and repetition, Baby may enjoy a mix variety of music.

Most pediatric specialists agree that almost any type of music is suitable for you and Baby to enjoy. "Diversity of different kinds of music are essential and can be useful for the baby's future writing, reading and language skills," says Dr. Philip A. De Fina, associate professor at the New York University School of Medicine Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience and chief neuropsychologist and director of neurotherapies at the NYU Brain Research Laboratories.

The Research

Recent scientific research into the effects of prenatal music stimulation varies greatly. Several early childhood researchers believe there is no direct concrete evidence that supports the theory that music stimulation prior to birth means a child has a higher intelligence in her future. Other specialists maintain just the opposite, arguing there are direct studies showing once they are born, babies have the innate ability to recognize their mother's voices and may be further able to respond to familiar music their family played for them while they were nestled in the womb.

Accurate information has become available to researchers through the use of ultrasound, in utero monitors and fiber optic television, which provide a fascinating look at life developing inside the womb. Studies by two of the leading early childhood researchers, Thomas R. Verny and Rene Van de Carr, have detailed that babies who have been stimulated while in the womb exhibit advanced visual, auditory, language and motor development skills. Verny and Van de Carr maintain these babies sleep better, are more alert to their environment and surroundings and are far more content than infants who did not receive any form of prenatal stimulation.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Just like many things in life, Dr. De Fina believes prenatal music stimulation should be practiced in moderation. "A perfect time to stimulate your baby would be when you decide to take a nap or rest during the day," she says. Although over-stimulation will not harm your baby physically, it can make Baby feel overwhelmed by the extra attention and she may stop responding to your efforts.

Listen to your moods – if you're getting tired of hearing the same opera aria, chances are Baby is feeling the same. This should be a special time of enjoyment and bonding shared between you, your spouse/partner and Baby. Remember, it is not about the amount of time, but the quality of the wonderful experience you are sharing together.

A 'show' What is a 'show '? Well a 'show ' is a pinky-red mucus-like discharge from the vagina. It 's a plug which has been protecting your uterus from infection during your pregnancy. A show is usually a sign that labour is on the way and will happen in the next few days. It can actually become dislodged a few weeks before labour starts. If there is a lot of blood you should contact your GP, midwife or maternity department as this could be a sign that something is wrong. Lower back ache You may notice a dull aching, niggling pain in your lower back. You don't need to contact your doctor or midwife yet though as generally this is just a warning sign that your labour is starting. Your waters could break Waters can break with a trickle or a huge gush: it all depends on how much amniotic fluid you have and whether it is the 'fore-waters' (the large volume of fluids in front of the baby's head) or a leak of the 'hind-waters' (the smaller amount of fluid behind the baby's head). Spontaneous Rupture of the Membranes (SRM) is the medical term for waters breaking . This can happen before contractions start, but it's more usual for it to happen during established labour. In some cases, the waters break literally just before the baby's head appears. If the hind waters have leaked, contractions may not follow right away because your baby's head may not be applying enough pressure to the cervix. Normal amniotic fluid is straw-coloured and you can normally distinguish it from urine because it is sweeter smelling. If the fluid is blood-tinged or greeny-black then you should go straight to hospital. Blood can be a sign of placenta abruptio where the placenta detaches itself from the uterine wall, which can be very dangerous for your baby. The greenish colour in amniotic fluid can be an indication that your baby has passed meconium, ( baby 's first waste products) and may be in distress. Once your waters have broken, there is a risk of infection, so if your contractions don't start naturally within 24 to 48 hours, labour may need to be induced. An urge to 'go for a poo ' Some women get diarrhoea-like bowel movements in early labour as the body clears out the digestive system ready to give birth Regular contractions Some women worry that if they won 't be able to tell when they have 'real contractions ' rather than Braxton Hicks'. Generally you can tell the difference because they hurt and they build up and become longer, stronger and more frequent. Most women describe the early pain as feeling like a period pain cramp that reaches a peak, eases off and returns at regular intervals. The pain comes from the contraction of your uterus and other muscle groups. Contractions may only last about 20 seconds and be 15 to 20 minutes apart when they first start or they could start off much stronger and closer together First labours are usually at least 12 hours long so it's probably best not to go to hospital too soon. It 's much easier to relax at home! Try to time the contractions from when you first begin to feel the pain to when it starts to ease off, and then the space between them. This will tell you how your labour is progressing. As a rule of thumb, you don 't need to go to hospital until your contractions last at least 45 seconds and come five to 10 minutes apart

Let’s look at an example: Scientists have determined that about 50% of all babies can crawl at about 7 months old. And about 90% of them have mastered this skill at about 11 months.

 

Now, many studies have also confirmed that crawling is a very basic skill that babies use to distinguish left and right – amongst other things – which is part of learning to read properly.

 

So, one of the very best learning things our baby can do at around 7 months is learning to crawl. What’s more, Nature helps our child to learn this skill much faster than at another age.

One of the things I see parents royally mess up is to give their child too difficult toys to play with. And since their baby is still too small and hasn’t developed all the physical and other abilities, they get very little – if any – real learning value from these toys.

So, although they may be playing, they are not nearly learning at the same rate as another child playing with a toy just right for his age. What this means is simply that Nature wants our baby to first learn something else – which is more important right now.

Most women face labour with some anxiety and trepidation, particularly with their first child. It should help you feel more prepared and relaxed if you have a good idea of what happens and why, even though no-one will be able to tell you exactly when.

 

We can break down labour into three main stages:

• Effacement and dilation
• Passing through the birthing canal
• Delivering the placenta

Effacement and dilation
For the nine months of your pregnancy your baby has been kept safe in a sealed environment by the sac of amniotic fluid and the mucous plug in your cervix. Before your baby can pass out of your womb through the cervix, the cervix will have to change completely. Not only will the mucous plug be lost, and often seen by pregnant women as a 'show', but the cervix walls will have to thin, soften and open out to ten centimetres to allow the baby's head to pass through. The thinning and softening process is known as 'effacement' and the later opening as 'dilation'.

Your thinned out cervix is pulled upwards by contractions in the walls of the uterus until the cervical canal disappears completely and leaves the way through into the birth canal, the vagina, free for your baby. When this happens you are said to be fully dilated.

This first part of this stage, known as early or latent labour, usually happens gradually over a number of weeks. But don't worry, that won't mean you'll be having painful contractions for weeks: if you efface and begin to dilate gradually then you either won't notice the contractions at all or they won't cause much discomfot. For some women effacement doesn't occur until just before labour begins in earnest, in which case labour is usually longer. With subsequent babies women often start to dilate earlier, well before strong and regular contractions begin. Once you're in the hospital or your midwife is with you, the midwife will probably check numerous times to see how far dilated you are. You won't be considered in active labour until you're at least 3cm dilated.

Once you are fully dilated (at 10cm) you move into the transition stage, at the end of which you'll feel the baby push down on your pelvic floor and feel the urge to push.

The time between when you're aware of being in labour - when you feel stonger and more regular contractions - to being fully dilated is usually between two and twenty hours.

Passing through the birthing canal
This is where the pushing starts. In this second stage of labour you help your contracting uterus push your baby through and out of the birthing canal.

You baby will be pushed head-first down the canal, as this is the largest part of his body. This takes on average around an hour, but for first babies it might well be as long as two hours and for later babies it could all be over in as little as fifteen minutes.

Delivering the placenta
Having sustained your baby for the last nine months the job of the placenta is now done and needs to be expelled so that your body can start getting back to normal.

Your body usually rests for five to fifteen minutes after your baby is delivered before delivering the placenta and the third stage is triggered by oxytocin, the hormone that is produced when you touch and hold your baby for the first time or put him to your breast.

In this third stage of labour the placenta first separates from the wall of the uterus, tearing through the blood vessels that join them. The uterus then begins contractions again - but relatively mild ones in comparison to the ones that just gave birth to your baby - and the placenta is eased out. Once the placenta is out your uterus contracts rapidly to its pre-pregnancy size, and closing off the open blood vessels of the placenta to prevent excessive bleeding.

As long as your little one's sleep issues have no medical roots, there are plenty of ideas out there to help. There are even some great and rather unusual ideas, too.

But first things first though.

If you are having trouble getting her to catch a full 20 winks, make sure nothing is wrong. If her bedroom isn't too hot or too cold, her clothing isn't too tight or too loose, there is nothing physically wrong, and she is properly fed, move on to other options.

Some of the more off the wall ideas to try that actually have some results include:

·         Massage. This is becoming a more common way to get even the tiniest of newborns down for the night. A simple, gentle massage or even patting can go a long way toward helping you to get baby to sleep. Don't think deep tissue massage for a newborn, just a simple rub down in a soothing environment often helps greatly.

·         White noise. This is an oldie, but a goodie. Basic background noises that don't demand attention can really help you help baby sleep. Thinks like ceiling fans, special tapes and even dolls that play white noise can all help a great deal.

·         The washing machine. It is not at all unheard of for parents of newborns to place their little ones in their car seats on top of running washing machines. The gentle movement (as long as the washer is balanced) coupled with the noise tends to sooth some little ones greatly.

·         Warm sheets. Babies do not like to be cold. After all, they have spent roughly nine months is a pretty hot environment. To ensure you don't set her down on a too cold surface, consider turning up the temperature in her room a little more or even getting flannel crib sheets.

·         Swaddling. This is an old wife's trick that works wonders. New parents are sometimes set aback by this one though. Swaddling involves nothing more than special clothing or blanket wrapping that keeps her arms and legs held in tight - just like they were in the womb in her last days inside. This is a great way to not only help baby sleep, but to calm her when she's upset.

·         Music. Think beyond regular lullabies. Some babies actually prefer slightly louder music. This tends to be especially the case if mom and dad listened to loud music a lot while she was in the womb. Rock and roll beats won't destroy baby's mind. Just make sure the volume isn't turned up so loud to hurt her ears.

Learning how to help baby sleep sometimes requires thinking outside of the box. Be creative with your ideas.

As long as they won't hurt her and they don't jeopardize her safety while she's sleeping, they are worth trying. If it works, you'll thank yourself for being creative.

But what works for one baby might not necessarily for another. The trick is to find what works for your little one and stick with it.

That’s what babies MUST do. It's the only way they learn all their new skills and gain experience... and get ahead.

What many parents do not realize is that learning these skills is a very complicated process. And since babies also develop physically (and a lot more), we find that learning and developing is an integrated and very complex process.

That simply means developing physically and learning new skills cannot be separated.

There’s a specific order in which learning occurs You also know babies develop physically in a very structured and determined way. All babies develop the same abilities in the same sequence and more or less at the same time. The best way for babies to learn is then to be stimulated and encouraged to learn specific physical abilities – also known as milestones - at very definite ages. Now, the best way you and I can help them is to give them the right tools and support to learn as much as possible at that specific age.   more »

On days when you don't bath your baby you'll need to wash his face, bottom, hands and folds of his skin once a day. An ideal time to do this is during changing.

• Make sure the room is warmed to a suitable temperature for your naked baby, around 29 degrees is good
• Have a bowl of boiled and lukewarm, not hot, water on hand and a supply of cotton wool
• Clean your baby's bottom as usual and take a ball of cotton wool dipped in the water and gently wipe around the genitals (changing the cotton wool often), particularly in the folds and creases of the skin
• Gently wipe each eye from the inside out using a new piece of cotton wool for each so any infection won't be transferred from one to the other
• Clean around the nose, mouth and the outside of the ears using a new piece of cotton wool for each, not forgetting behind the ears
• Clean your baby's hands and feet and in-between the fingers and toes
• Make sure to clean the folds or creases of the skin - particularly under the chin, at the neck, the arms and the back of the knees
• Don't insert cotton wool or anything else into any of your baby's orifices: the nose, ears etc. will clean themselves
• You don't need to wash your baby's cord stump it's best to just leave it alone to dry up and fall off
• Pat your baby dry gently, taking particular care to dry around the cord stump and the stump itself if it has become wet

Some babies will love the opportunity to be without a nappy for a little while and others will hate it. If he seems unhappy then the first thing to do is to check that the room is warm enough for him. As when changing you can do a lot to reassure and entertain him when topping and tailing: it's a good idea to make lots of eye contact and to keep chatting to him, letting him know what you're doing and asking him questions. If your baby really doesn't like being naked you can undress and dress him in stages.

When your baby is born his brain consists of a number of neurological paths between the trillions of brain cells. And,
without getting into the detail, these neurological paths are not completely structured and linked.

What this means is that if you press the front door button the bell doesn’t sound, but the garage door open now, the lights go on tomorrow and the kettle starts boiling next week.

In short…

There’s no structure. And there’s no predictable response.

And the thing is, we all need predictable response to function properly in everyday life.

And to function properly, your child needs to form the right connections and pathways between the countless brain cells. These connections enable your baby to learn and think… just to name a few.

 Scientists have shown that what a child experiences during the first few years of life forms and improves these brain pathways. These experiences include things like seeing, hearing, touching, and feeling. Also, a whole range of experiences are needed to strengthen and form all these pathways.

So for example, if we read, the idea is to understand the same thing that the author means and to see the same picture in our minds.

That’s predictable response.

Now this is where toys can play a vital role to form and strengthen these brain pathway… while making it fun and make things easier for you.

Educational, learning or developmental baby toys are so designed to connect your child’s neurological paths in the right sequence.

Also, there are hundreds and hundreds of “right neurological connections” we need. So

·         Heartbeat is stronger and can be heard by a stethoscope,

·         Eyelids starts to open very slowly and clear eyes are easily visible,

·         There is a definite pattern in sleep and wakefulness,

·         Lungs are ready for breathing,Week by Week Baby Development

·         Taste buds also form at this stage and the nourishment is stepped by the placenta,

·         By the end of twenty sixth week, eye lashes and brows are completely formed,

·         Eyes are focused and sharp,

·         Brain will continue to grow, accompanied by strong sensory feelings,

·         Skin gets clear now with wrinkles slowly disappearing from the body,

·         The fetus really looks like a baby, as the head looks quite proportional to the body,

·         Eyes are very sensitive to the light, while the finger and toe nails reach their full length,

·         Each cartilage is quite soft and well formed,

·         Entire body system is completely functional,

·         The head gets firmer day by day, and the whole body is sustained by a consistent supply of food,

·         The baby moves almost regularly by kicking and moving,

·         The baby starts to put on more weight during this time,

·         The baby also takes a head down position to facilitate an easy delivery,

·         But, the scalp region is still underdeveloped to accommodate the body through the narrow birth channel

·         Week thirteen is a month of continuous growth; all organs begin to finalize their shape and morphology, while the heart is increasingly getting rhythmic and resonant,

·         Baby's neck is getting longer and stiffer,

·         Placenta is also quite busy in nourishing the tender baby,

·         By fourteenth week, thyroid and other hormone secreting glands will get to work to produce minute quantities of hormones,

·         The skin is still transparent and thin fine hairs (lanugo) starts appearing on the body,

·         Bones will also get stronger day by day all the way, till the last week,

·         Muscle and brain coordination starts to show up,

·         20 milky white teeth buds are also developed,

·         Rapid skeletal movement is observed throughout the trimester,

·         First signs of fluttering movement,

·         Fetus gains more weight and becomes mature,

·         Fetus also becomes very sensitive to sounds and light,

·         Some hint of fat deposition over the body

·         It is the ripe time for that elusive ovulation! You just need a single egg to be fertilized by a sperm. It finally occurs!

·         It is also the time for conception in your Fallopian tube. A healthy sperm will fertilize another healthy egg!

·         The fertilized egg travels down to the uterine area to implant itself on to the wall. This stage is called the implantation stage. The process of implantation may sometimes cause spot bleeding, which is quite harmless and common

·         Once embedded on to the wall, a primitive neural tube forms, which eventually becomes the nervous system.

·         Next on the line are the primitive circulatory system and a tiny heart. This combination will provide the solid foundation, on which the entire life will be supported and nourished.
The most significant anatomical development in the fifth week is the beating heart, whose murmurs could be heard with the help of a special stethoscope,

·         You'll also see the appearance of an umbilical cord, that is designed specially to provide fresh blood, oxygen and food to the young fetus,

·         The rudimentary heart will function on its own, by pumping blood through its primitive circulatory system,

·         This is also the stage for other organs to develop and sustain; along with the lungs, important organs like hands, feet and arms also start developing,

·         During the sixth week, the limbs continue develop at a quick pace, to create a strange sensation in your womb,

·         Brain cells will also multiply at an alarming pace; almost 100 billion cells will form with in the next two or three months,

·         Eyes will also make their debut, and a pair eye buds will form at the edge of the head,
Internal digestive organs like pancreas, stomach, intestine and liver will soon appear during the sixth and seventh week,

·         During the seventh week, you will also be see tiny little feet and hands, jetting out of the body with a well formed elbow to support the hands. A pair of legs will support hose tiny feet as well,

·         At this time, a thin, but firm gum line will also form in the mouth, which soon will be the solid base for plenty of teeth,

·         By week eight, cartilages and bones will occupy their place in the body; you may need plenty of calcium supplement at this time to start feeding your baby with calcium,

·         Eyes and digestive systems are soon evolving as efficient internal organs,

·         Your baby would have also grown bigger and healthier during this month.

·         Your baby will also start moving both in sideways, as well as upside down. This stage is the most significant stage, as you'll start experiencing those tingling sensations in your stomach,

·         The sense of mobility will soon be developed by the tiny little baby, as she will start trying to hold things that are within easy reach,

·         The fingers will also start showing distinctly formed finger prints and the fingers will also have trough shaped ends, where the future nails will grow,

·         By week ten, your tiny tot will become a fetus, meaning a larger form of life with highly advanced organ systems in her body,

·         Now that all the major organs are firmly in place, a new phase will start when the baby starts growing at a rapid rate,

·         Eyes are still shut down, but the cornea and iris will start forming with in the shut eye lids,

·         The placenta will start working during this time, to transport fresh food and oxygen to feed the baby.

·         By week eleven, hairs and nails start to grow and develop,

·         Kidneys also start functioning, as amniotic fluid wastes will be ejected by the tiny pair of kidneys,

·         The genital organs will also develop and take the set gender characters; this is the time when you can check the sex of your baby,

·         Muscle system is still primitive, but this primitive system will start to contract and swell to practice contractions that digest food.

·         To bolster body's biological functions, all critical internal organs like intestine, liver and stomach will complete their growth,

·         Ears shift to the sides of the head, while the eyes also begin to move close to each other,

Very tiny vocal chords will also begin to take shape so that by the end of the pregnancy tenure, the baby will be ready to cry and announce that it has arrived!

The time when your contractions are a few minutes apart obviously isn't when you want to be running around desperately flinging clothes and birth props into a bag for the hospital. But unless you're planning a caesarian you won't have any way of telling when that time will be, so it's a good idea to get the things you'll need for the hospital well in advance and pack a hospital bag ready a week or so before your due date. You could be in and out of hospital within a matter of hours, or you may have to stay longer. If you plan for a couple of days with one overnight stay you should be fine - if you have a longer stay than that someone should be able to pick up fresh supplies from home for you. You may also need to go into hospital for an overnight stay at some other point during your pregnancy before the birth, and although it's probably over-the-top to have a bag prepared on the off-chance, it is a good idea to be mentally prepared for what you would need to have with you. So here's what to pack for an overnight stay: For you Your maternity notes A dressing gown you'll feel comfortable walking around the halls in A washbag with your washing essentials and a hairbrush or comb Comfortable house shoes or slippers for when you want to go wandering the corridors A towel A change of underwear Two nightgowns And if you're preparing a bag for labour then add to that: Several copies of your birth plan to hand out to those who are caring for you at the hospital. Remember that you may be in labour for a while and are likely to go through a change of staff Any props you plan to use in labour, whether that's aromatherapy candles, oils, a pillow, massage instruments, rescue remedy, calming music and player etc. High energy snacks for yourself and birthing partner Several pairs of old or disposable knickers and at least one nursing bra if you're planning/hoping to breastfeed If you're planning on breastfeeding then take nightgowns that won't interfere with feeding after the birth i.e. open-fronted Breast pads and a couple of muslin cloths to keep your clothes clean when feeding and winding Suitable clothes to go home in, and remember, you're likely to look about five months pregnant after the birth, however disappointing that may be, so the pre-pregnancy clothes can stay in the wardrobe And you may like to have: Antiseptic wipes or solution A pair of warm socks for during labour Earplugs if you're going to be on a ward or in a shared room Distractions - Whether it's a deck of cards or a travel board game, a trashy novel or magazines, something that will help distract you from the pains and help you both pass the time Sweets to suck on. Sugary or glucose sweets may be good for an energy buzz but they'll also make you more thirsty, so you might want to try a sugar-free variety Herbal teas, fruit juices and mineral water if you prefer not to drink tap water Camera or anything else you want to record the birth or the time afterwards with that is allowed by the hospital Important numbers - e.g. check that either your or your partner's mobile has all the numbers for people you'll want to contact immediately after the birth For baby A rear-facing car seat for a newborn - If you're bringing your baby home by car don't forget to fit the baby seat in advance A couple of babygros and baby vests Scratch mitts Nappies - Your hospital might provide these, but check in advance and bring a couple of spares, just in case A going-home outfit suitable for the season and weather What the hospital will provide What hospitals provide for you varies in quality as well as in scope so it's worth checking ahead wherever possible by asking at the hospital, and if you know anyone who's given birth at your hospital then ask them also. Most hospitals will provide the bare basics for baby such as wipes, nappies, dummies and bottles / sterilising equipment. Some hospitals provide items of personal hygiene, like disposable knickers, disposable breast pads, towels etc. Others may even provide music players and nursing pillows. However, most mums find that their hospital doesn't supply all that much: If something is important to you then don't assume it will be provided.

If your due date is rapidly approaching but you still haven't whittled down a shortlist of baby names yet then don't panic, we're here to help. Check out our general hints and tips for baby naming to start you off on the right track. No matter what kind of name you're looking to give your baby, you'll probably want to know whether any of your shortlist names appear among the country's most popular 100 names of the last couple of years in order to be aware of recent trends. So take a look at the top of the pops list for girls and for boys for the years 2006 and 2007. If you think that you've already got your baby's name completely sorted, perhaps because it's a name you've always loved, or one that you want to use for family reasons, then it can still help to read our baby-naming guide to be sure you've thought about how your baby's name will work in day-to-day life. And don't forget that you may have your heart set on an Eloise Jane only to find that your newborn simply doesn't suit the name, or is even in fact that 'she' turns out instead to be a Luke or a Robert! Make use of the forum Baby names are a perennial hot topic on the TB forum, which is a good place to seek out inspiration, ask advice or test out your shortlist for unfortunate nicknames you may not have thought of. And when you've found your perfect baby names then don't forget that your parents may like to have special names now they are grandparents - take a look at the forum for ideas on naming the grandparents.

p. Check out our general hints and tips for baby naming to start you off on the right track.

No matter what kind of name you're looking to give your baby, you'll probably want to know whether any of your shortlist names appear among the country's most popular 100 names of the last couple of years in order to be aware of recent trends. So take a look at the top of the pops list for girls and for boys for the years 2006 and 2007.

If you think that you've already got your baby's name completely sorted, perhaps because it's a name you've always loved, or one that you want to use for family reasons, then it can still help to read our baby-naming guide to be sure you've thought about how your baby's name will work in day-to-day life. And don't forget that you may have your heart set on an Eloise Jane only to find that your newborn simply doesn't suit the name, or is even in fact that 'she' turns out instead to be a Luke or a Robert!

We all know it takes two to get pregnant and it's something of an advantage to be a couple sharing pregnancy. If you're committed to supporting your partner as she grows your child then here's the Idiot's Guide to what you should know about her pregnancy, tongue (placed loosely) in cheek of course...   It's been a hard day's night It might be no bigger than a pea, but this princess is not exaggerating the exhaustion your child is causing in these early weeks. It's no mean feat to go from a single cell to miniature wriggling human in 10 short weeks and if all I want to do besides work is sleep then yes, it is your turn to do the cleaning again. If you want the neighbour's number for her 'help', it's on the fridge. By the way, you'll notice that it's 'your child' and you better get used to that, because from here on in whenever it's causing trouble it'll be 'your child', it's mine when it's adorable and loving. Obviously. Hey, good lookin' Did you know that more women get morning sickness than don't? Strangely enough in the early weeks I may be capable of dashing off to retch in the loo at the merest whiff of cooking and then be able to tuck in only minutes later. I might be sick all day, not be able to so much as look at some foods, just have mild nausea or be totally erratic with my sickness. Whichever it is, cooking can be less than appealing for me at the moment so you might need to step up to the stove more often than you'd like. And whether it's early pregnancy nausea or post-birth recovery that's keeping me away from kitchen action we still need a balanced diet, so it'd be helpful if you could branch out from your one set-menu you like to dish up when it's your turn to cook, particularly when this is beans on toast (you know who you are). NB: Excessive consumption of take-out may bankrupt us and anyway, I've gone off pizza, so think again. Cry me a river I know it's just the ten o'clock news, but there are babies starving in Somalia, children armed with guns in the Congo and earlier on Lassie got injured while trying to rescue kidnapped twins. Sometimes I don't even need a reason to cry and you wouldn't either if you had this amount of hormonal havoc running through your veins. And before you mock, I saw your eyes redden when Arnie melted himself at the end of Terminator 2, it's emotional becoming a dad too. I'm so dizzy No really, my head is spinning. You ought to know from the start that when I forget where I parked the car, when I leave that important presentation in my other bag and when your mobile's gone through the washer, it's not me, it's the pregnancy. It's a scientific fact that women's brains shrink during pregnancy and we cannot be held responsible for temporary lapses of memory, reason or multi-tasking malfunctions. I know. I read it on the BBC. Besides, if you did your own washing it would never have happened. If you think I'm sexy In the early months you might find these new curves of mine tantalisingly sexy and be longing to get your mitts on those two newly luscious lovelies up front. But they're gearing up for a new job now and can bloody hurt, so ask first and do me a favour: save tuning the radio dial for the radio. Thank you. I'm in the middle of a chain reaction You might not want to know about every single gag reflex, every ache, every worrying twinge and number of middle-of-the-night trips to the loo but there's some weird stuff happening to me right now and I have to tell somebody. Frankly you're the only person who has no choice but to put up with me. Besides which, as you lie there night after night sleeping like the oddly proverbial baby, or sit sipping your chablis of an evening, some of us are busy making our baby and it's only fair that we should get you involved whatever way we can. Just be glad that I've now found a new audience on ThinkBaby and you only have to hear the half of it. And finally.... You've lost that lovin' feelin' Apparently for some women pregnancy is the time of orgasms, multiple orgasms and sexual emotional intensity, largely thanks to increased blood flow to the clitoris - making it more sensitive. And helping you find it in the first place. But if our own sex life is more shattered than earth-shattering you'll just have to bear with me for a while. It's not that I'm not interested in making love to you, I'm just not interested in making love to you. It's not you, it's me, blah, blah. This is my pregnant prerogative. You however, should still find me incredibly irresistible even when I begin to resemble a python that's swallowed an elephant, and I can no longer trim my toenails - or anything else down there. If you don't, then come up with a decent excuse that doesn't involve my pregnant body.

What's safe Once a couple realise they are pregnant it's perfectly natural for them to worry about the safety of sex and the impact on the baby of intercourse and orgasm, you might even worry that the baby could be poked or disturbed by the penis. The good news is that there's no evidence at all that sex is unsafe in a healthy pregnancy, and no physical reason why you shouldn't continue to enjoy an active sex life together. Your baby is safely sealed in a protective bag of waters that provide support and prevent infection, then sealed in the safety of the strong womb via the mucus plug at the narrow cervix: It's physically impossible for the penis to disturb the baby and even near the end of pregnancy your baby will have no idea what is happening. If your baby is very active after sex it's because of your increased heart rate, not because he's upset or uncomfortable. There are, however, some special circumstances that may lead your doctor to suggest that you avoid sex as a precautionary measure, including if you have a history of miscarriage or premature labour, and placenta praevia. Obviously any sexual practices that aren't safe in normal circumstances are no safer in pregnancy. What's comfortable In early pregnancy you probably won't notice any difference in which sexual positions are comfortable and which aren't. But as your bump gets bigger it will make some positions, such as the missionary position, uncomfortable or simply impractical, and you'll need to experiment a bit to find out what works for you both. Here are some ideas worth trying: Woman-on-top - This can be a good position for several reasons. Your bump isn't in the way and will have a degree of support from your partner, meaning that you don't have to take all the weight. You will be able to control the degree of penetration and the speed of movement so it's most comfortable and pleasurable for you - many women find it easier to reach orgasm in this position. What's more, the position allows for plenty of eye contact and your partner will probably appreciate the view. Spooning - If you lie on your side with your partner lying next to you, facing your back and entering from behind, your bump will be both supported (you can use pillows to support your bump if need be) and out of the way. The position isn't good for maintaining eye contact, but is good for allowing manual stimulation along with intercourse. Despite the lack of eye contact the position is very intimate and well-suited to loving, gentle sex. Perching on the bed - If you prefer a man-on-top position then try using the bed or something similar as a support. If you lie on your back with your bottom at the base or edge of the mattress your bump won't get in the way. Your partner will able to stand or kneel to enter you - it might help to prop yourself up with a cushion or two under your lower back for height. If you find it uncomfortable to lie on your back as your bump gets heavier then this position won't be for you. Sitting - This will also take the weight off your bump and allow you to control penetration. You can sit on your partner on the edge of the bed or on a comfortable chair, just make sure it's sturdy! What's different about sex in pregnancy? Besides accommodating the obvious bump, pregnancy involves other physical changes which can affect how sex feels for you. During pregnancy you have more blood flowing around your body and consequently more blood in your pelvic area. This increased blood can engorge your genitals, making them more sensitive and responsive. For many women this is a source of increased sexual pleasure during pregnancy, heightening the sensations of stimulation, and some women experience orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time when pregnant. If you usually only reach orgasm through manual stimulation you may find that this changes during pregnancy. However, the same engorgement that usually increases pleasure can also give an uncomfortable sensation of fullness after sex or orgasm. It's quite common to experience abdominal cramps during or after intercourse because orgasm releases the hormone oxytocin which stimulates contractions. This may be slightly uncomfortable, but you needn't worry that sex will stimulate labour, as your womb practices contracting throughout pregnancy and this is perfectly usual. In a normal pregnancy sex will only bring on labour contractions if labour is imminent anyway. Changes to your breasts during pregnancy are likely to leave them more sensitive and they may at times be tender or sore. If fondling your breasts is a favoured part of foreplay for your partner then you may need to suggest that he is more gentle or avoids the area completely. There are also non-physical changes during pregnancy that may affect how sex feels. The emotional intensity of sex may be deepened by the realisation that you are going to have a baby together, and become a family, making sex a richer and more rewarding experience. What's more, some couples may find it very liberating to make love free from the pressure to conceive or not to conceive. On the other hand, adjusting to the impending reality and responsibilities of parenthood may also throw water on your sexual fire for a while. Will my sex drive change, and if so, how should we handle it? The flood of pregnancy hormones, morning sickness, tiredness, emotionally adjusting to a new reality and your physically changing self can all have a strong impact on your libido. It's quite common for women to go off sex during the first trimester, as their bodies and brains adjust to being pregnant. The second trimester is often a time when women feel at their best and most energetic during pregnancy, and many experience a resurgence of interest in sex and may find it particularly pleasurable. In the third trimester, as the bump becomes more unwieldy and tiredness usually returns, it's common for interest in sex to slump. That said, every woman and pregnancy is different, and you may find you have a very different pattern of changing libido or go off sex for the entire pregnancy. And it's not just women's sex drive that pregnancy can affect, your partner may also experience changing levels of sexual desire and even go off sex altogether. Your partner is also coping with adjusting to the new reality of becoming a father, and all the emotions that entails: He may be given a positive boost by the proof of his virility or he may struggle to come to terms with his new responsibilities. He may also be affected by the physical changes to your body" While some men find pregnant women's more womanly shape very sexy, others may find the pregnant shape a complete turn off, or be too worried about possible effects on the baby to be comfortable with sex. However your sexual desires fluctuate as a couple, the chances are there'll be times when you're not in synch with each other. The best way to navigate through potential problems is to make sure that you communicate as openly and honestly as possible, though it's wise to avoid hurting each other's feelings with unnecessary bluntness - now is probably not a good time to tell your pregnant partner that you find her fat, puffy and unattractive! (No time is good for that, just in case you were wondering). If one or other of you is off sex then it's important that you use other ways of preserving the intimacy between you. It might be going out or staying in for a romantic dinner, taking a soak together in the bath, giving each other a massage or simply demonstrating affection through eye contact, cuddles and conversation: The key to maintaining a happy and rewarding love life through pregnancy is to take time for one another and be attuned to each other's needs.